Mental Health Update

Next, we need a database of everything ever made for all time. When archeologists thousands of centuries from now uncover the remains of a cow, I want them to know the name of the cow and who owned it. This wiki database will be publicly readable, modifiable, and monitored. Your refrigerator will be able to access it over the Internet. When the cow is discovered to have died from Mad Cow disease, your refrigerator will be notified.

After all, there weren't always antidepressants. If Napoleon was feeling a little blue he didn't stop conquering Europe. Although, at Waterloo he must have been feeling a little more depressed than usual - that didn't turn out too well.

Now for many, an incident such as this would be painful, a moment of sheer anxiety and terror- but when you are surrounded by Eddie Ricers- a moment of pain and suffering is transformed into a moment of fun- I cannot express my gratitude to my fellow Eddie Ricers enough for their ongoing help late into the night and well into the day - thanks especially to Chris’s dad who was kind enough to examine my injuries..

I heard in school that people with schizophrenia do a lot of face picking. Not saying that I'm a schizo but what does that mean anyway? To pick your face, to be consider that I might have a subconscious problem. But that's all I can say because I know well enough not to think about things like that too much. You work yourself up on an idea of yourself, it might be true.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

And for some strange reason, I feel so down…so lonely. I’m thankful for you … to comfort me when I need it … thanks baby Joy. This feeling is different though .. I mean, I really don’t know why I’m so depressed. Maybe this depression was always around, mysteriously lurking in the shadows since I was a small kid. Maybe that, infused with the weariness that came about from all the shit so far. I like making people happy..making them laugh …. but in a cliche sort of way, I can’t seem to make myself happy. I mean, I am happy to have Joy by my side and for that I’ll be eternally grateful to God…and to her, for never giving up on me, for being the cute thing I could never be and thus amuse me in so many ways that bring a genuine smile to my face.

So here I sit at my computer, while I should be at the tredmill running off the 10pounds I have gained since the depression struck me, and yet I just want to sit here and stuff my face with oreo cookies and M&Ms.

Paraphrasing what Tom Wolfe wrote many years ago, acting bored is a sure way to look cool. Dogs in Space stars Michael Hutchence who, according to the NSW coroner, took his own life on November 22, 1997 at the Ritz Hotel, Double Bay. It got me thinking about suicide and depression in general. The film acts as a site of intersection for various ways the events of suicide and depression are repeated — in song, film, history, ‘real life’, etc. Depression is one of the great social problems of the contemporary era.

If you were to know me you would agree that I am just a little bit off center. I used to hate that in myself, but now I wear my ecentric behavior as a badge of honor. You see, in 1998 I was diagnosed with maniac depression, in today's medical lingo--bipolar disorder. I still struggle with the effect it has on my life, but I also would not want the prism that I view my world removed. The maniacal view I see this world through has had a profound impact on me and those I love. Not always in positive ways. However, I can honestly say I have learned from, grown from and come to value the painful experiences in my life so that I more readily cherish the simple and beautiful facets of my life. Most importantly, I have learned the true meaning and value of love.

I was so over indulged in romantic activities in the campus that my academic performance was almost a failure. I got NQ (not qualified) in each of my subject in BSC first class). There was a time in my young life when I felt like doing suicide out of depression. Whenever I tried to express my feeling, I felt rejected and ignored by everybody. So I also hated everyone I stayed in this state of terror for a long time, in the absence of proper guidance and counseling. It was impossible to talk about such things neither at home nor the school in return, thinking that I would rather hate people before they start hating me.

I started a new medication yesterday… Lexapro, for my depression. I felt pretty good during the day yesterday. I had a little nausea and a little dizziness but I was smiling and mucking around last night. Hell started when I went to bed. You know when you close your eyes to go to sleep that your eyes relax in your head? Mine weren’t. They were rolling upwards and I couldn’t control them. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t switch off. My eyes feel strained as a result. I think I might have got an hour of delirious sleep.

Anyway, the son went out, I sat down, burst into tears (so much for the outwardly calm senario) and put the piece of paper with reminders on it, on his desk. As I was unable to speak coherantly (some who know me would say "as opposed to what"?)the GP read the notes I'd made to myself on the paper. Then, he signed me off till I go on holiday on the 10th and advised me to consider taking antidepressants and to try and change my flights so I can leave for my hols (to see my family) earlier than planned.

Fears of another case of mad cow disease in the United States have faded for the time being because tests on the most recent suspect animal came back negative. But that is no reason to feel confident about the American beef supply. American cows still eat food that can potentially infect them with mad cow disease. American meatpackers use dangerous methods that other countries ban. And the United States Department of Agriculture does not require enough testing to ensure that American beef is completely safe.

Let’s start off with the basics, shall we? Manic depression is not having two or more different people/personalities living in your head. That’s dissociate Identity Disorder. Similarly, it is not hearing voices that tell you to do things. That’s schizophrenia. I could go on listing the various things that it is not, but now that we’ve sorted the two most common misconceptions and shown what it isn’t, let’s show what it is.

What a relief. She went and found out she does have a mild case of depression, and anxiety, and a whole slew of issues from her childhood that need to be worked out.

The iPod has certainly changed the way people listen to music, but what has the effect been? Stayfree Magazine’s blog has suggested that iPod usage and addiction has turned into “Musical Attention Deficit Disorder” and wonder if a slow culture reversal is in order– a return to the Walkman or Discman.

A study of Chinese children born before, during, and after a famine in the late 1960s, combined with a prior study of a Dutch famine during WWI, provides evidence that children born to severely malnourished mothers are about 70% more likely to develop schizophrenia.

Speaking of respect..I'm not sure how I feel about a new comedy that's going to air on FX called "Starved". It's about 4 friends who suffer from various eating-related disorders. One's a recovering anorexic.. one's bulimic..another is extremely obese. The catch is that all of them truly suffer from eating disorders in life outside the show. I just can't overly imagine a show about those particular issues where the humor could be anything but crass and somewhat .. tasteless?

Our other friend, Hugo, is a pure angel of a man. He is going through a very disturbing divorce. His ex-wife has been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. She has tried to commit suicide and has even gotten arrested for her baligerent behavior towards Hugo. He is at his wits end. They have a 7 year old son too that will suffer from this experience. Please pray for Hugo, his wife and son. Pray that she can find strength in God to overcome her mental illness so that she can be strong for her son during this divorce. Pray that Hugo will have the strength to do what is best for his son also. They are truely good people going through a very stressful time.

Anyway, I don’t really know anything about cutting. Eating disorders are my specialty. I spent seven weeks as an inpatient, and met a whole bunch of anorexics and bulimics (and was the only binge eater/non-purger of the group). I can help with eating disorders… I am at a loss as to how best to help with the cutting. I’m gonna do some online research…