Mental Health Update

you know I heard a funny saying a year or so ago and I think that it is one of the most absolute truths I have ever heard, Our bodies change every 7 years. I know that every body changes and has its aches and pains that can not be explained but I am positive that our genetic makeup mutates after a 7 year period. This is for certain because 4 years and somemonths ago I gave birth to my first child, and I ended up gaining almost 70 pounds between that child and the next. My hair is getting thicker and more stringy, my face has now accepted a cleanser and lotion that will keep my face clean and void of acne ( by the way it just happens to be some of the most expensive stuff on the market. but who cares it works and that is all that matters) and my armpit iches if I don't lotion once a day, talk about dry skin. But the good that has come from all of these changes is that I have found the cause of my clinical depression, it is caused from a severe hormonal imbalance and I and my doctor have found a treatment that is working.

I swear, cars DO have personalities, and somehow mine inherited my bipolar disorder! I once thought Hondas were supposed to be the bastion of reliability and economy, but this thing is a hunk of JUNK. It’s taking every fiber of my being NOT to run out and go MacGyver on this thing and make an oversized toaster out of it. Cars SUCK. Period. Exclamation point. Whatever kind of punctuation you want to put at the end of that sentence.

When she left the hospital after a couple of weeks, her weight was up to 95 lbs, and she was eating regular meals. She'd already had a couple of sessions with an outpatient therapist, and would start a specialized day program for eating disorders the following Monday. She seemed well on her way to overcoming anorexia nervosa.

At Millennial Star, a discussion has started in the comments to the General Conference prediction post about whether or not eating disorders are sins. Some good points are being made, but I worry about putting all compulsions on equal ground.

Cafeteria food is probably the number one reason students become anorexic or bulimic. For all those stupid videos and assignments we had to do in health regarding these stupid eating disorders, you’d think one of the teachers would catch on to it. The logic behind it is rock solid. If anorexics don’t eat food, and school food is food, then anorexics don’t eat school food. Thus, anorexics are obviously avoiding eating school lunch by not eating food at all. Who’s happy if they’re not eating? Besides Ghandi, nobody of importance.

Aside from that, I have recently moved out of my home, which I have lived in for all of my seventeen years, about 30 miles away, to a small town called Lamoine. Did I mention my parents just got divorced? Yeah, that's why we are moving. It wasn't really all traumatic, unless I am unknowingly repressing some sort of manic depression - in fact, I had wondered why they _hadn't_ yet divorced, for a number of years. I almost welcome it, in a sense. I am glad that they are both happier now.

… donated to Katrina relief will soon be incinerated because prevailing FDA regulations prohibit importation of beef from Great Britain due to fear of Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis ("mad cow disease").

I have been thinking a lot lately about coming off all medication… my new antidepressants and the pill. I want to have a drug free body for a while and eat a wholesome organic diet for a while and see if my constant hives, weight gain and depression start to go away. I just don’t know if my medications are causing other problems. I am definitely considering it and intend to have an allergy test done soon as I seem to be allergic to just about everything I come into contact with lately.

One of the themes that the author, Mr. Barrett Seaman, focus at is the emotional troubles that students might go through while attending college. It includes�depression, eating disorders and other psychological problems.

Today is Ashlin’s first day at preschool. We took her in around 8:30 a.m., and she immediately went to the table of other toddlers who were eating snacks, sat right down and joined in. No fear of socializing with this baby. She didn’t show any anxiety when we left either, although she did crack a huge grin and giggle when I did the “I’m watching you” thing we do to each other. Watch Meet the Parents and you’ll see where we got it from.

I was commenting that I wish I could go again, with the person I am NOW. Do it all over. Post natal depression changes you forever. And with all that is happening in the universe, and the speed with which it happens, we all want to grasp tightly on to what we love and the people we cherish.

I have this aversion to the furniture being moved around. People often think that’s weird, but I’ve figured out that, for me, it’s perfectly valid. When I was little (too young to understand bipolar disorder), my mom would “go crazy” regularly and move all the furniture around. She’d arrange it in the oddest fashion, too. All the chairs would be facing each other in a big circle, almost as if she planned on lots of imaginary guests. Well, that was always my first clue that it would be to my advantage to lay low for a week or two - you know, hide in the closet or climb a tree and stay there. I did a lot of hiding when I was small. It always seemed like those times where when she would say very hurtful things in a matter-of-fact way, like she had been saving them up for a long spell.

October 5th, 1992 my older brother Darryl, after a very brief (1 month) battle with what resembled schizophrenia, committed suicide in our mother’s home. He was 24 years old. He would have turned 38 this November 4th. (ps: I’m going to post a picture of him when I get it scanned and celebrate his upcoming birthday by telling you funny, cool things about him!)

So I have been here at college for a week and it has been quite interesting. I haven't been eating right and i feel like I am screwing myself up with worry and nervousness. At first I thought that I didn't want to be here, but now I think it is more that I have a social anxiety. I like hanging out with people but I have a hard time motivating myself to actually do it and then I spend a lot of time being afraid of it. I don't really have many "sisters" that I want to hang out with so i spend most of my time in my room.