Mental Health Update

Hey there, many members of my family have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, including myself, and I aint ashamed. Sometimes I wake up feeling like a pretty flower hugging a rainbow, other times I wake up feeling like Chuck Norris after watching his own movies. Hmm... bad example, because I like Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

I am now finished with my appointment and my fears are confirmed- a blessing and a relief. My doctor thinks I fit the Bipolar II description very well, and prescribes a mood stabilizer in addition to the medicine I’m already taking. Though I don’t like the thought of the diagnosis, I’m very optimistic about the treatment. The medicine I’m taking, Lamictal, is known for being very effective without weight gain, which is a side effect of most mood stabilizers. Additionally, this is a medication that can be used both in the treatment of bipolar disorder, but depression as well… so therefore even if the diagnosis doesn’t fit every one of my criteria, it is the equivalent of a broad-spectrum antibiotic… I should get some relief soon.

When a patient tells me that they have probable borderline personality disorder with anti-social tendencies, I am not certain whether I am to thank them for saving me the trouble of determining this for myself or fearing for their rage when they steal my wallet and then blame me.

I have spent the past 3 hours crying. I can no longer eat my anxiety, fear and anger. I don't use drugs, I don't drink, I no longer smoke or eat. So what the fuck am I supposed to do now to help me deal with my "issues"?

His main problem, I suspect, is schizoaffective disorder. This is a controversial diagnosis that not everyone agrees on it. Think of it as a combination of bi-polar disorder (manic depression) along with some schizophrenia thrown in for good measure. I think the Calculator has Manic-type Schizoaffective Disorder.

We have not met our patients yet. I’m working with Ponzi and our case is schizophrenia, the paranoid type I think. I’m not feeling anxious at all, in fact I’m pretty excited to meet him. We read from his medical records that he has manageable behavior naman.

It’s been at least eight years that I’ve lived with the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. It is such a stupid sounding thing. Although I go long periods without reading a single thing about it, the information doesn’t change much. There are no drastic advances in the treatment and tolerance of bpd. It is the same stuff.

So should we not continue to eat poultry and fish due to flu strains and mercury and eat beef? Well, there’s this little problem of mad cow disease they can’t seem to diagnose until the food is just about in the food chain and then everyone goes nuts for awhile until they tell us all is fine. But is all fine or are they just pacifying us?

I wonder if dying inside is what needs to happen in order for me to live outside of my head. I think I'm going into depression but all the things I'm used to using to counter it are no longer available to me. I hope I adjust to the new things quickly. Right now my stomach feels like it's in a vise grip and I'm pretty sure I'm going to hurl in the next half hour. I'm so whiney I'm making myself sick. Literally LOL.

Many say that insanity means doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. I continued to drink and use for many years, even after it became obvious that doing so was destroying my health, memory, relationships, spiritual connection, livelihood, reputation, and just about every other aspect of my life. Alcohol and drugs seemed to feed the voracious appetite of my selfishness, fear, and depression, even though that is not what I wanted it to do. Continuing to drink and use against all reason is, to me, insanity.

I believe there are many people who work in the high tech industry who have ADD, much more than the average of the population. Approximately five per cent of the population has ADD and 85 per cent of adults with ADD don’t know they have it. It seems to me ADD and the technology industry is a natural fit. The constant change of the high tech world can be stressful and troubling for some people but it’s often stimulating and energizing for the ADDer. A great source of Dopamine hits. Although, there are no specific statistics a number of other ADD experts I’ve talked to agree with my observation.

I think it is revolting to see Tele ads of food, and in a show with these women walking around with perfect hair and make up. Freaking insane humans are. We tempt ourselfs with fat food commercials right inbetween a show of skinny women and buff men. No wonder there are eating disorders! Where in history has there been so many eating disorders? NEVER.

Dang, it gets hot in some places during the summer time. In fact, there’s nothing better to do on a summer day than be inside with the air conditioning on and flip the computer switch on while everyone is at the mall, and just have fun by doing some random searches on various search engines to see how the results can vary. It’s just plain fun sometime. Especially on random topics like attention deficit disorder a different perception. Yeah, like that. ;o) Alright, shoot me already. Now that was random. That you’ve got to give to me.

The thing is I hadn’t wanted to go in tomorrow but I’ll be there 10am sharp.I can’t bear to begin thinking about what happens if they’re not there,they HAVE to be there.I’ve tried not thinking about it,even valium doesn’t stop the anxiety.I’ve lost so much to theft over the last few years that I find it difficult to trust in a group situation even though the rational part of my mind says it’ll be fine the experienced,ripped off side says you wont know until they’re in your hands again.This time tomorrow I’ll know.

Let's be honest, this really is nothing more than protectionism disguised as a health issue. There has NEVER been a case of mad cow disease from eating US beef. There was ONE cow, yes ONE, found in the US to have mad cow disease and that cow was traced back to Canada. Knowing this, the ban that Japan has imposed on US beef is ridiculous. It is protectionism for Japan's cattle producers. Nothing more. The US has FINALLY recognized this and will not take it any longer!

paula wrote: i want to share with you something that my therapist gave me last year. it's a brief text by kay redfield jamison, who is a psychiatrist who is also bipolar. here's the text:.