Mental Health Update

Depression is a real issue affecting the life's of many African Americans. I would venture to say that many of our young men and women that are incarcerated suffer some form of mental illness. Unfortunately many in our community refuse to see mental illness as an "illness" but rather a character flaw. Mental illness is no more a character flaw than is diabetes...it is a bona fide medical illness which is in many cases is a result of hormonal of chemical imbalances in the brain.

A new pilot study carried out at Boston University School of Medicine and MacLean Hospital, at the Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, show that yoga causes a rise in gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA) the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain.

David: "No, my friend, I’ve been battling suicidal depression. I had an attempt in March of 2004 in Portland and then a serious attempt in December 2005 in Prague. I took 100 ten milligram valiums and 100 ten milligram ambiens and I washed it down with a bottle of whiskey. It should’ve been enough to kill a horse. I didn’t even close my eyes."

Today is one of the days when I ask myself what is realistic for someone with a mental illness.

When I entered the room my supervisor had asked me if I knew a certain psych patient. The patient he was asking me about did not seem to belong on a psych ward. Granted the patient did mention that he was having suicidal thoughts, but had shown no signs of a mental illness.

Contrary to what some may tell you, mental illness is a biological disease. Sure, some of it has to do with how you were raised and your personality, but for the most part it's been scientifically proven that the mentally ill have levels of various brain chemicals that are out of whack. The meds simply restore balance. I'm so thankful for mine.

throughout my entire life, i’ve worn the hat of “the fixer”. whether it was during my mom’s stint with depression, protecting my brother’s out-of-wedlock baby news, during my other brother’s drug and alcholism, taking care of my family… oddly being the one everyone turns to. anything and everything. i fix things. that’s what i do. i make things better. somehow. i rescue. and perhaps that’s not healthy… no it’s not healthy but that’s what i do. so naturally when a crisis happens, i am automatically on “what can i do to make it better” mode, “who can i help through this” mode, “what can i say to make it better” mode.

When last we met, I was complaining about my sad ass state of depression and lethargy. I have since visited my trusty doctor, Dr. Fabulous (whom I love!!! She’s gooooood!) and things are looking up.

I’m not speaking of any particular addiction, as we all have one or two in our lives. However, for sake of discussion, the primary addictions that people fall to when they find that their lives are faltering are alcohol and drugs. Of course, these usually come into play once their addictions to depression and negative situations overtake their lives and they feel as though they have no where left to turn. But, as we peel away the negative situations and tend to the depression through medical assistance, they are better able to accept that now they must eliminate the substance addiction.

While some people can shake the winter doldrums, there are those who become depressed or find their depression deepen during the dark months.

I’m dealing with a range of emotions while my ‘good’ eye is loosing sight fast. The world is no longer clear in any way, shape or form. Where there was once definition and recognition, there is now a foggy haze. I’ll be heading down to the eye center this coming Wednesday- I’m pretty sure what they’ll tell me, that the myositis is spreading. I’m tapering off the prednisone, slowly getting it out of my system, but I still can’t walk far nor do much without help. I wanted to sanitize my bird feeders today, but I did good to strip my bed before I tumbled back into it. I sleep too much.. and I know it’s depression sneaking into my psyche, because part of me wants to be numb and not deal with this any longer.

When with family, we often experience sadness, anger and need to take a deep breath and “be in the moment”. We don’t need to verbalize all of our emotions; we can be selective about the emotions we share with family and close friends. Perhaps we can expand our ability to connect with ourselves in a more caring manner.

Researchers have mixed opinions about Vitamin B and its affects on depression. While some claim that taking Vitamin B-12 has been shown to have no effect on people suffering from depression and anxiety, others have made the link between a lack of Vitamin B with anxiety, depression and insomnia.

Roche, the drug's manufacturer, has since included a warning label in the product information that mentions use of Roaccutane may cause depression, psychosis (loss of touch with reality) and suicidal behavior.

A number of things caused my depression, the biggest one was chronic pain (24/7). I have facial nerve pain (that’s the only dx I’ve been given). Tried treating it with Nortriptyline…really bad idea. Carbamazepine…couldn’t stay awake on it though it did actually start helping a bit. Finally now I have just started Lamictal…fingers crossed this one works. My relationship with my family was and still is a problem, simply put I’m a major oddball.

All My life I have been depressed. So it’s not like it just started one day. But I always though if I just had X I would be happy. Years later I realized the truth. Depression is a disease.

Up to 30 percent of people who require mental health services have at least one personality disorder (PD)–characterized by abnormal and maladaptive inner experience and behavior. Personality disorders, also known as Axis II disorders, include obsessive-compulsive PD, avoidant PD, paranoid PD and borderline PD. Axis I disorders, on the other hand, include depression and schizophrenia–mental illnesses thought to be less pervasive but more acute.

Rationalizations help justify our shortcomings. Without them, most people would live in a constant state of depression and inadequacy. While reviewing the latest Oracle Security Update I found this article written by Mary Ann Davidson (Chief Security Officer, Oracle) on the problems with information disclosure. I could not disagree more with her position. The whole article boils down to one huge rationalization for Oracle’s sluggish response time for fixing security bugs.

When the shadow of depression casts its darkness over your life nothing in your world is the same as it was. It is like being down a deep dark hole where reality has somehow drifted beyond your grasp. You no longer see your place in the real world. Optimism has been replaced by overwhelming pessimism and negativity. Days drift into months and months are swallowed into years, until nobody, including you, really cares enough to do anything.

Irina Shklovski (Carnegie Mellon University - blog) discussed how people use technology to cope with a socially stressing event such as long distance residential moves. In her study, Shklovski looked at the changes in online behavior after a move as a function of self-reported depression/lonelines, gender, and type of Internet use.

Unlike Andrew Bartlett, I haven't exactly been open about having depression over the past few years, except to friends, family and my personal brain-care specialist. On the other hand, I have thrown out enough hints here and there, so I might as well step all the way out of the closet and admit that I have a yappy little black terrier of my very own. I share Senator Bartlett's interest in the way depression is perceived, portrayed and dealt with - and this page on the Hillsong web-site - written by American evangelical crap-artist Marilyn Hickey - makes me bloody angry.

Between having chronic depression and ADD and some really bad bouts of anxiety where I almost made myself puke, I’ve tried tons of medications over the years. I can cluck off the names of anti-depressants like a child can name Santa’s reindeer. Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Perexa, Celexa, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Serzone. I’ve tried nearly every single one of them. Actually, no. As of this week I HAVE tried every single one these, because my psychiatrist gave me some new samples to try. Then there’s the ADD meds, which I’ve had much less success with. I’m still looking for The One that will complete me. I know it’s out there, I just haven’t found it yet.

There was no one to turn to. No place to find comfort. Immediate reasons for distress had no relevancy. This was the bottom of a valley, buried under a landslide of many months of depression and struggle.

Her health went from bad to worse. Her list of ailments: glaucoma, diabetes, high blood pressure, gastric problems… and her recent medical report says that she might develop kidney problems if not treated early. More gruelling physical tests, money worries and depression were to come.

To help me get through some of the worst times with my boyfriend, I picked up one of my favorite books - Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I’d read it some years before and loved the story. This time I read it for the "you can do it" message just so I could make it one day to the next. At that point I was in a deep depression with severe anxiety from the stress of living with an abusive, suicidal man, and therapy wasn’t enough to override the downward spiral of his health and my feelings. Atlas did the trick. Needless to say, I pretty much maxed out the depression scale when I first went in to the doctor’s for treatment. After two weeks of reading Atlas, I felt alive, and confident, and *strong* for the first time in months. My depression scale score went from a 37/40 to a 2 before the meds could have any effect. The enthusiasm from the book did wear off slowly, but it gave me a shot in the arm when I was scraping the bottom of the barrel, and there’s a good chance it saved one or more lives at least once.

I wonder if dying inside is what needs to happen in order for me to live outside of my head. I think I'm going into depression but all the things I'm used to using to counter it are no longer available to me. I hope I adjust to the new things quickly. Right now my stomach feels like it's in a vise grip and I'm pretty sure I'm going to hurl in the next half hour. I'm so whiney I'm making myself sick. Literally LOL.

Many say that insanity means doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. I continued to drink and use for many years, even after it became obvious that doing so was destroying my health, memory, relationships, spiritual connection, livelihood, reputation, and just about every other aspect of my life. Alcohol and drugs seemed to feed the voracious appetite of my selfishness, fear, and depression, even though that is not what I wanted it to do. Continuing to drink and use against all reason is, to me, insanity.

After the four-year relationship preceding my marriage ended, my analyst told me to read On Death And Dying by the late psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This seminal work on the subject of grief introduced the five stages of grief: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While at first blush, it may seem odd to read a book about a psychiatrist’s interactions with terminally ill patients when coping with something like the end of a relationship, but when I read it back in 2000, I could see the parallels in my grieving process.

From what I’ve read in the school’s paper on Monday is that he had been suffering from depression (I don’t think I had heard that until then). You know what that means? His death could have been prevented. Not necessarily easily, mind you, but a little bit effort by the people around him could have saved him. Whether or not his friends (I don’t know if he had family in the area, but even if he did and he’s like any other 18+ year old, he probably didn’t see them too often) and the people around him noticed it may not be fully known. Let’s face it, if any of us had known a friend of ours had been suffering from depression and we didn’t try and step in and they killed themselves, would we come out and say “Yeah, I could have done something but I didn’t”? Probably not, right?

As someone who deals with depression, I sympathize with Mr. Alpizar and his friends and family. The man was a Christian missionary, and therefore someone I’m likely to admire. He was not taking his medicines and he was not comfortable getting on the airplane. I am sorry that he has to be the case that now results in a warning to patients to not fly if they do not believe they can control their behavior through the flight.

I find myself having slipped into the holiday depression season, complicated with some burnout from too many funerals in too short a time. So I am finding myself remembering and searching for the pointers to the path out of the swamp.

Women who indicated the highest levels of depression had a 43% greater risk of developing colorectal cancer than women with the lowest level of depression. More bad news - the correlation was greatest for women who were overweight. The good news - 90% of colorectol cancer cases are curable! Losing extra weight is possible and has a positive impact on your health, both mental and physical.

I am ending a relationship of two years. That is time wasted. It seems insignificant when the tribulations of the relationship are considered. This person has been the center of my world for two years. All of the initiative drive inside of me has been directed in ways to uplift our relationship. Now all that is has vanished. That drive inside me was now altered directions and is now headed for destruction. In a way it feels almost healthy. It gives me the feeling of when I just get out of the shower and have a clean slate. That feeling is minimized by the feeling of missing something. My chest literally hurts and my thoughts are consumed by this fog of depression.

5. Focus on what you can change and let go of what you can’t change. When faced with a distressing situation ask yourself if you can control over the events. If you do, change what you can. If you don’t, learn to let it go and move on.

There are various situations that I end up not knowing whether I am happy. Sometimes, it gets so confusing I even feel that half of me is jumping for joy while the other half is in depression. Yeah, I may just have bipolar disorder. The recent *PMS Matching is one good example of such a situation.

I am back to blog. Having been away for quite some time. Living in isolation. Depression became my uninvited guest in the house. It made me feel so dreadful of so many things -- of everything.

This time though it might be worth recording. Despite my ongoing depression I still honestly try to get better. I’m doing a caffeine detox now. I figured if I were to sleep well at night and break the cycle (depression causes insomnia and insomnia causes depression) I’d need rid myself of anything that can disrupt my sleep. One of them is my coffee addiction.

After some thought, I think I’ve isolated one of the major sources of my depression.

you know I heard a funny saying a year or so ago and I think that it is one of the most absolute truths I have ever heard, Our bodies change every 7 years. I know that every body changes and has its aches and pains that can not be explained but I am positive that our genetic makeup mutates after a 7 year period. This is for certain because 4 years and somemonths ago I gave birth to my first child, and I ended up gaining almost 70 pounds between that child and the next. My hair is getting thicker and more stringy, my face has now accepted a cleanser and lotion that will keep my face clean and void of acne ( by the way it just happens to be some of the most expensive stuff on the market. but who cares it works and that is all that matters) and my armpit iches if I don't lotion once a day, talk about dry skin. But the good that has come from all of these changes is that I have found the cause of my clinical depression, it is caused from a severe hormonal imbalance and I and my doctor have found a treatment that is working.

I have been thinking a lot lately about coming off all medication… my new antidepressants and the pill. I want to have a drug free body for a while and eat a wholesome organic diet for a while and see if my constant hives, weight gain and depression start to go away. I just don’t know if my medications are causing other problems. I am definitely considering it and intend to have an allergy test done soon as I seem to be allergic to just about everything I come into contact with lately.

I was commenting that I wish I could go again, with the person I am NOW. Do it all over. Post natal depression changes you forever. And with all that is happening in the universe, and the speed with which it happens, we all want to grasp tightly on to what we love and the people we cherish.

And for some strange reason, I feel so down…so lonely. I’m thankful for you … to comfort me when I need it … thanks baby Joy. This feeling is different though .. I mean, I really don’t know why I’m so depressed. Maybe this depression was always around, mysteriously lurking in the shadows since I was a small kid. Maybe that, infused with the weariness that came about from all the shit so far. I like making people happy..making them laugh …. but in a cliche sort of way, I can’t seem to make myself happy. I mean, I am happy to have Joy by my side and for that I’ll be eternally grateful to God…and to her, for never giving up on me, for being the cute thing I could never be and thus amuse me in so many ways that bring a genuine smile to my face.

So here I sit at my computer, while I should be at the tredmill running off the 10pounds I have gained since the depression struck me, and yet I just want to sit here and stuff my face with oreo cookies and M&Ms.

Paraphrasing what Tom Wolfe wrote many years ago, acting bored is a sure way to look cool. Dogs in Space stars Michael Hutchence who, according to the NSW coroner, took his own life on November 22, 1997 at the Ritz Hotel, Double Bay. It got me thinking about suicide and depression in general. The film acts as a site of intersection for various ways the events of suicide and depression are repeated — in song, film, history, ‘real life’, etc. Depression is one of the great social problems of the contemporary era.

I started a new medication yesterday… Lexapro, for my depression. I felt pretty good during the day yesterday. I had a little nausea and a little dizziness but I was smiling and mucking around last night. Hell started when I went to bed. You know when you close your eyes to go to sleep that your eyes relax in your head? Mine weren’t. They were rolling upwards and I couldn’t control them. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t switch off. My eyes feel strained as a result. I think I might have got an hour of delirious sleep.

I was so over indulged in romantic activities in the campus that my academic performance was almost a failure. I got NQ (not qualified) in each of my subject in BSC first class). There was a time in my young life when I felt like doing suicide out of depression. Whenever I tried to express my feeling, I felt rejected and ignored by everybody. So I also hated everyone I stayed in this state of terror for a long time, in the absence of proper guidance and counseling. It was impossible to talk about such things neither at home nor the school in return, thinking that I would rather hate people before they start hating me.

What a relief. She went and found out she does have a mild case of depression, and anxiety, and a whole slew of issues from her childhood that need to be worked out.

My husband - now he’s a very easy target, and I wonder if he unknowingly contributes significantly to my depression - not with the things he does but with the things he doesn’t do. For starters, he doesn’t seem to ever want to touch me. When we do have sex, it’s good for me, and he says for him as well, but it never seems to inspire him to want more, whereas when I have good sex, it always leaves me hungry for more. I’m ready for more the very next day, but no such luck. Actually I’d be happy if we did it once a week, that’s above the national average in Singapore for married couples hitting 40, but with me, it’s once in 2 months. Basically he’s just too exhausted. I’d suspect him of having an affair and letting off all his steam elsewhere but then one look at him, and you know, he’s just completely lost his libido.

But, I do not feel the horrible crushing emotional pain and guilt of past deeds that I normally feel when I am depressed. I think maybe I am having some mixed states. But, it is so hard for me to track my moods. I thought making this blog and transferring some of my journals to here would help. It has showed me more about my moods than I knew previously. But, still I do not have a clear indication of my cycles.

I dread going into the doctor’s office because I know that I will either have to lie, or I will have to talk about the way I feel. And they will tell me to go to counseling, blah, blah, blah. Yes, I know that it would be better for me in the long run to take care of this problem. But one of the things about depression is that it makes you not want to do the things you need to do to get better. The whole thing is overwhelming.

I dunno how I can help out anyone else who's gone through the same experiences as me, but I guess all I can say is that I turned out fine, and hopefully you did too. Like the stats above show, you're not alone - there are many people who've simply shut up about their experiences coz its taboo or shit.

I get tested for cancer every year. The tests came back negative this year again. The testing allows me to make informed decisions. It’s part of a complete physical. People in psychology sometimes don’t take a full physical history when they do an intake on their new patients. That can be a mistake. A lot of physical conditions can contribute to emotional problems. Things like anemia and thyroid disorders are frequent causes of depression in women. Infection causes fatigue and can easily be mistaken for depression. If you don’t get a physical you miss the opportunity to get an early jump on treatment when it can be most effective, when the conditions are minor and easy to treat.

I thought about depression a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t think it was much of a problem. My wife thinks I might be in denial. Kinda scary. She mentioned some of the things I do and say. Hearing them from another person, I realize how negative I’ve become and how bleak a picture I paint of my existence.

As soon as a society backs off from the absolute value of all human life, a process of devaluation begins in which ever more life is thought unworthy of life. One need not speculate about the “slippery slope.” We have already begun the descent. The trend started in our courts with terminating the ventilator of a person supposedly in a persistent vegetative state, and has proceeded to the starvation of those judged incompetent. And once the right to death by starvation was granted a competent person, it was next seen appropriate to grant this “benefit” to the incompetent.

The headline-grabbing story all over the place today about how half of Americans suffer from mental illness at some point raised my skeptical hackles. I knew there was almost surely Big Pharma money lurking somewhere and sure enough, my assumption had some validity to it. It's difficult to critique studies like this or the drugs used to treat depression because invariably someone thinks you are attacking the notion that there is a real problem or that the drugs help, when you aren't doing any such thing. I'm just saying that I think Big Pharma...

I realized that even though I get depressed about being a nonsocial geek, or being “weird”, after listening to some of the kids in the room, I realized that at least I can communicate normally with other human beings.

Having spent plenty of time learning about how stress affects my own brain chemistry and finding out about healthy ways to deal with stress so as to avoid slipping back into major depression, I was quite interested in the subject. I know that the defense mechanisms I developed as an abused child, in order to survive that stress, led to major problems later in life when I wasn't capable of dealing with stress normally. I had simply never learned how and not dealing with stress can cause an amazing number of problems.

My mother is a bit freaked out that I may be clinically depressed. I don’t think she quite gets the fact that depression is a disease like anything else.

June seems like a good month to slip into a deep insanity, or dare I say it – depression. As good a month as any, I suppose. For reasons I haven’t quite pinned down yet, I find myself spending a good amount of time feeling like there’s a thick cloud around my head; my mind as Jacob Marley, dragging heavy chains twisted up with rusty locks. Dickensian, indeed … and I hate metaphor all over again, in every sense of the cliche it creates, the cowardice of it. But I do slip up every now and then, running to hide in an...

Still, there have been other publicity hiccups related to Cruise's increasingly public association with Scientology, the religion founded by the science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. In a series of television interviews on "Access Hollywood" last week, the star spoke at length about his passion for Scientology, at one point criticizing the actress Brooke Shields for taking antidepressants for postpartum depression. Scientology considers modern psychiatry and its medications to be harmful.

So I tried not to be gay. I tried through high school and I tried through college. I tried as hard as I could. I denied who was through depression and more. I could not be gay.

Teenage depression is widespread and can become a life-long illness, but is more often transitory, said UCLA Psychology Professor Constance Hammen, who will discuss her research at an invited address May 27 at the American Psychological Society's annual convention in Los Angeles… click link for more info.

Duke University Medical Center researchers have found that patients who were using a class of anti-depression drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) prior to undergoing coronary artery bypass surgery have significantly higher death and rehospitalization rates up to five years after the procedure than patients who were not on SSRIs.

But when I’m alone everything falls apart. Even when I’m not alone, I keep my composure but there’s so much going on inside that I really just can’t feel happy. I know it sounds pathetic. People tell me you just have to work at being happy, and I honestly do try instead of allowing myself to wallow in my depression, but it’s too much of a battle and I feel like I’m getting old. I want to go away.